Friday, 4 July 2014

UNTITLED 1

Ever since his parents parted ways, he didn't respond to anyone properly. The only reply he could deliver to his mother calling him for lunch was, "I'm not hungry, I ate something at school" (Which obviously, he didn't).

His parents never had any traces of love or even compatibility between them. The father had always loved someone else, but under family pressure married Sakshi. Soon after their 'shubh vivah', as they say, she discovered her husband's extra-marital relationship. But by then, she already had Jayant inside her.
Jayant was raised in an environment of extreme distrust and coldness. He had never been a cheerful boy, they say, even people who had seen him smile, wondered if it was for real.
 
He never had a healthy relation with his father. He hated him, for what he did to his mother. The only piece of conversation he often had with his father was, "Why don't you leave us alone?".
On the contrary, though the father, Sahil never had any feeling for the mother, he loved Jayant more than he loved anyone else or his own life. But as crippled as a vine, couldn't find love in his son's eyes.

When Jayant hit his 16, his parents decided that they've had enough of each other. A divorce case was filed, and Jayant, without any reluctance, decided to stay with his mother.
Even after the divorce, Sahil kept trying to dig out some love out of Jayant, trying to meet him up, conversate on phone, inviting him for dinner. But the efforts went in vain. It was as if Jayant had closed the door of his heart for even the slightest presence of Sahil. But being a father, Sahil could just not keep himself from trying to reconcile things with his son.

Even Sakshi did not want Jayant to be anyway close to him, mainly for ruining her marital life.

Jayant's academic performance had always been poor, mainly because of the atmosphere developed around him. The teachers often called up to talk about his academic performance, but Sakshi was too busy dealing with her own life.

His social life was neither of any great relief to him too.

It was clear in Jayant's mind, he had no one to call them 'his', no one. But life had some other plans.........

It was a gloomy afternoon, with only traces of lights piercing through the overcast sky. It seemed it would rain, and rain harder than ever before. Jayant was on his way back home, probably from school. With grayness all around, it seemed that the weather just wanted to add to the dullness in his life. No signs of any life around him except some crows. And unaware of his surroundings he was just walking. Suddenly a very loud noise of a vehicle came from nearby. But he did not bother to look around, which proved to be the biggest mistake of his life....

It was a van, that stopped just in front of him with two men, covered faces, coming out it. Before he could calculate what was happening, he found a cloth pressed against his face. It smelt something funny...but it was only funny till he could feel things.

The next time he opened his eyes, he was somewhere near a graveyard, tied with a rope to an armchair. His head hurt. There was no one around he realized. But realizations aren't always accurate. A man with a pistol in his hand arrived into the scene almost from nowhere.

"So..Sahil Sharma is your father..A rich brat you seem to be."
Not commenting anything was what Jayant found suitable. But these words just enraged the anger inside of him, and Sahil Sharma now seemed to be the villain of the story.

"And your mother ain't anything less, Sakshi Sharma, daughter of Vikrant Kataria, the famous businessman."
"Sakshi Kataria", he said, "not Sharma".  

The man gave a grin and walked on. 

Sometime later, Jayant overheard the kidnappers. They had asked for a crore rupees, surprisingly separately from Sakshi and Sahil.

While things were taking their course, the only thing Jayant had in his mind was, "Why is Sahil Sharma still alive, why doesn't he just die?"

It was not long before the money from Sakshi reached the kidnappers. They had hoped to receive the sum from Sahil too, but that did not happen till then.

Sometime later, the kidnappers received  a call from Sahil that he is personally coming to give the money and take away his child.

Sometime later Sahil entered the scene. The money exchange took place and things were taking their natural  course. But then things began to lead a course which was pre-planed. Sahil was hit in the head and left unconscious. And the time to get rid of the victim had come so that no trace of the criminals was left unattended. A pistol was aimed at Jayant.

Jayant's perspective was something different all along. He saw the things happen in front of him. He never had any hopes that Sahil would be able to save him. And things were proving quite right. As he gathered the courage to face the bullet that would probably hit him in a matter of few seconds, he closed his eyes. He could feel the light falling on his eyelids. Suddenly he heard the sound of a gunshot. And along with it the light falling on his eyelids seemed to disappear. He felt nothing. As soon he realized that he was not dead he opened his eyes.

What he saw was a man standing in front of him with his back towards his (Jayant's) face. As the mist in his eyes cleared, he realized it was Sahil. At first Sahil turned his neck around, looked at Jayant and smiled. Jayant had no reaction on his face. Then suddenly something drew Jayant's attention, he looked at Sahil as blood gushed out of his abdomen. Sahil first fell on his knees and then right about his face hit the ground. Alarmed from what had happened, the kidnappers decided to run away. 

Jayant had no expression on his face. For the first time in his life, he felt something for Sahil. But it was a little too late. He could not do anything about the situation. He tried hard to wake Sahil up. But as crippled as vine, he couldn't locate life in Sahil's eyes................

Saturday, 14 June 2014

SCRAPS 1.0

A SET OF SHORT STORIES.
1. SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
He was carryinng a bouquet of flowers....A group of boys stopped him. One of them spoke out, "for your girlfriend?"
He said, "for my dad."
All of them laughed and a voice came through, "Is your dad gay?"
without replying, he just walked away.
Next, he was seen laying the flowers on his fathers grave. He had a tear  rolling down his cheek....

2. LOVE?
He got to know he was making out with a woman who had slept with someone else earlier. (though she had him in her heart)
Now he is with a woman who never has slept with anyone else. (though her heart has, and still does)
He is happy though.

3. DILEMMA
Playing around he saw something written on the board of another class.
He was 4. Had just learned numbers upto 8.
He went inside, (the class was empty) and scribbled something.
A teacher saw this.
The child had scribbled '∞' next to 'lim x-∞  x/sinx'
He called others to showcase the child's extraordinary academic capabilities.
The '∞' was actually a tilted 8
The boy was dislexic.

Friday, 11 April 2014

SHIT INDIANS DO ON SOCIAL NETWORKING WEBSITES

First of all, thank you everyone for such an overwhelming support! I am really very grateful!

Back to the topic :P

Yes!!!
The concept of social networks among Indians does not hold a very long history.
As much as I remember, it began with Orkut in about 2005, and is continuing via Facebook and Twitter majorly. Wait wait!.... I forgot to mention Google+, though no one uses it, except me I guess.

Here I will be majorly talking about facebook, since I don't have a twitter account and Google+ 's story has already been told.



With making a facebook account becoming as easy as buying 'Amul ka aadha litre full cream doodh' from the market, nowadays everyone has a facebook account. Haven't you seen that advertisement, where the lift (elevator) operator (or someone like that) says to a man standing near him, "Bhaiya, kya main aapko facebook par request bhej sakta hu?" ?

Indians joining a place, and not causing chaos? Sounds a little impossible!

Indians exploit facebook in such ways, that even Mark Zuckerberg can't think of. For eg. One of my facebook friend, (I won't name him) uses facebook to check out new pics of Sunny Leone. (So basically using it as a porn site. So damn innovative :P)

Then there are people who use it to showcase their epic photography and literary skills. Seriously, they are so damn talented, sometimes I really envy them. Let me show you an example. THEIR DISPLAY PICTURES, WITH BEAUTIFUL POSES AND POETRY.




Two tasks fulfilled. 
1. The epic poses and out of the world editing exposed.
2. My all time hatred for the word 'mah' explained. Some times I feel like commenting "Teri 'mah' ki **** " on such pics.
This is still explainable.
But what about people with excellent skills? This is really sadening. I've seen people with amazing photoshop skills doing things that almost makes me cry.
For eg.

I mean, look at the photoshop skills! (I am not praising my own self here, and I am much better at these jobs, this edit was done via mobile phone.)
But the sad part is, when the same people do this.
I call them the 'ONION SKILLS', i.e. skills used in such a way, that they almost make you cry and lose all faith in humanity.

Third category of people, who tag every motherf***ing person on their list on their profile picture.
Their captions go like
"you  are the only person I love in my life" with- xyz, pqr, abc and 48 others.
I seriously don't understand what are they trying to say. It seems like a person is proposing 51 people by saying, 'you are the.......' :P

Another type of people.
They are seriously the most epic ones. They treat facebook like a matrimonial/dating site. They open their friend's profile, surf random pages, search random names...and wherever they find a girl with a pretty display picture, just send her a request and start irritating her. Wait wait, there is another and most famous technique.
"hi deer! pliss ad me, i m bloked. i m a vei vei handsum indian buay"

But the most embarrassing moment is, when they do it from your profile. Here's something. This is what happened when a friend of mine, (who's name is also Harshit Dhawan) sent random requests to many girls from my ID








I can't even explain  how embarrassing it was for me. I felt like killing this guy, but then laughed, and let it go.

If anyone of the above mentioned categories is reading this, its a humble request, "PLEASE SUDHAR JAAO", otherwise.......


This discussion is not over! It is to be continued......
Till then, Keep reading, keep smiling and keep supporting.
This is Harshit Dhawan signing off.
MAH LOVE FOR YOU GUYS :*
(Sorry :P)

Friday, 28 March 2014

SHORT FORMS AND CRAPPY ENGLISH : THE CONVERSATION DESTROYERS

Imagine, you message your crush...
"You are the most beautiful thing that happened to my life, you complete me, make me the man I am today! *On my knees* Would you be the one to light up my life with that colorful smile of yours? Would you be mine?"
And she replies, "K"

How sad would that be, how bad would that be, and how mad would you be! :P


Short forms and crappy English, not only are they the "Ekta Kapoors" (Serial killers) of conversations, but also image destroyers.


Sitting in an interview, if you are asked about your educational qualifications, and you start your assertion with "mah educational.....", imagine what can happen to your career!


OH YES! THIS WORD, 'MAH'!

A replacement for the word 'my' these days, this is the most irritating word (after kkkk and hmmmm ) that I have ever come across on the internet. Those display pictures with funky text forms written on them, going like "mah life, mah rulezzzz". I pity these people, with my heartiest sympathies to their parents.

And these short forms. Creating misunderstandings always.

Be it tc or ttyl, almost everything has a short form nowadays.
Imagine the future with the use of acronyms in general conversations.
You apologizing,
"I A S B, I D M T" (I am sorry bhai, I didn't mean to)
"S C Y F M N" (So can you forgive me now?)
The other one replies, "Y".
#Only hoping that the other person does not mistake the mentioned F in your second dialogue for f@*k :P

Here are some short forms and what I analyze of them.

Okay, that Sunny Leone thing was nowhere related to the topic :P
Yes! I know many won't agree, but girls are seriously attracted to men who speak proper English.
So stop saving a few seconds off typing, and start improving your vocabulary.
This is Harshit Dhawan signing off.
kkkkzzzzz, bye ttyl, lol :P
(Okay, that was ridiculous) 

Friday, 21 March 2014

MWUW: MEN WHO UNDERSTAND WOMEN.

Na bhai na! I am not promoting a special gang of people who claim to make you the master of your wife/girlfriend etc.
This is a society of an extraordinary species, which has either become extinct, or never existed! 
Women are the most complicated things that ever happened to this world.....And we are always cursing Newton. That innocent man just gave us F'(x)=dy/dx....(okay, not too easy either).

So, I was standing at the metro station a few days back (probably around valentine's week) when I saw a man trying to 'manao' his girlfriend."My baby, my sonu I seriously didn't know that Priya had that same bracelet, I swear to God if I had known that, I would have gifted you a different one". She growled  "all men are dogs" and threw the bracelet away with all her might. Me being the "Yo Yo Tragedy King", got a direct hit on the forehead. The guy came running after it, apologized to me and escorted me to a bench nearby. I asked, "Bhai, does she always do that?". He said, (with that face turning a little red from pale yellow) "Everyday policy, just this was the first time we had a casualty off her throw."
And we burst out laughing.
'Kahani me twist'
Another girl appeared out of nowhere and and stopped by his girlfriend.
Seeing this, the expression on his face turned absolutely terrifying and he was literally hiding behind me. To his luck, the metro arrived and......there came the horrifying voice. "Chalo baby". And another to my surprise, "Hi Aniket". The guy with me spoke with a quivering voice, "Hi, Priya".
And......my head was singing, "Iske to chaar baj gaye, iske to chaar baj gaye"
For the next 2 stations, the ladies kept discussing their things almost endlessly and Mr. Aniket just stood there with an expression similar to that, which a man gets just  before he is hanged till death.
Then Priya got off.
As soon as she did, his girlfriend broke out, "Did you see that limited edition watch on her hand? See, I want the same watch okay?"
And then I went into near flashback....and something related to a bracelet came into my mind.
I spent the entire part of my remaining journey, laughing like a psychopath and almost making the public call an Ambulance with a suspicion of a possible fit that struck me.
The thing is, understanding women is such a job that even Napoleon Bonaparte would say, "Meri dictionary change karo pencho, impossible shabd ki zarurat pad gayi hai".
Be it mood swings or hyperactivity, women are almost unpredictable.

Plot twist : I won't say I fully understand women, but yes, I do that to an extent such that I can atleast help some of you. (atleast 4 saal ka experience hai)



Discussion on the topic to be continued.
This is Yo Yo Tragedy King taking off.
Take Care guys.